Friday, December 7, 2007

I'll trade my hostages for tea, dammit

Once again, you will be forced to view my day with me! Understand, my day started at 6:00 p.m. I went to bed at 10:00 a.m. on December 6. Bear with me. Those of us who are priveleged to keep Vampire hours know it's hard to keep your days straight. And yesterday? I was so tired and out of it that it took the kids three times to tell me it was, indeed, the afternoon, and I was trying to oversleep. WTFever. I got my glorious 7 hours, which is a miracle.

I hit the ground running...right over to my computer. Diet Coke in hand (thanks Junior--they're well trained or they want a sip first) I immediately began figuring out my work life. Wait, that's on hold...Junior's grades are in the cellar. Launch into an hour-long IM conversation (he's too chicken to come in here), and, in the end, as I was tired of the 0/40 and 0/30 and 0/20 infinity grades he has going, he has to get a 90+ on all his assignments between now and finals in order to have any Christmas that involves nonfamily entities. I asked him what his homework was. He said it was done. I said that's not what I asked.

Guess what? Complete homework redo...the right way.

90+ or bust. I've had it.

Sunny fell out of bed the other night and landed on her wrist. It's not swollen, but it keeps popping. Keep in mind this is the same kid who's still obsessing about an ear infection she had two years ago. During this ongoing saga, I determined that she needed help to write out her notes from the book. (Flashback to Junior's injury, which he blamed for getting his awful grades...nice try, they still sucked after the cast came off, pal). She fussed about my notetaking. She crabbed when she was trying to be funny and said, "Section Tree!" and that's exactly what I put, Section with a nice little tree shape.

We goofed around, the two of us, like we are wont to do. But, it put us behind. Somewhere in the midst of this I ordered pizza with a check because we knew direct deposit would cover our azzes at 4:00 a.m. Then, my dude came in and announced that he's got some math with which he needs some help. Not a problem; the rest of Sunny's homework requires letter answers, easily within her scope of crippledom.

Wait, Stud has to discuss serpents before bedtime. Yada yada yada...we can't afford, we can't afford not to, but it's breeding time, I have christmas...samo samo in adnauseum deo. In the midst of this, poor Dude is forgotten...

which we discover 15 minutes after his bedtime, where he is patiently waiting for his mommy.

Sigh. Yeah, I felt lousy. Then, it got worse, because he forgot his book and I forgot how to plot linear equations on a graph (xy dot dot stuff). Obviously, I'm smarter than a fifth grader, but the sixth grade is my limit. By the time I found a help site online, he had to go to bed or he'd never get up the next morning.

I start work with this heaviness. Like always, I've done everything I can, but it's still not enough, you know? And it's hard to hold it together to get work done, because I've got plot stopping me in my tracks. At the end of every file I typed tonight, I got another flash of plot. This is good, and it's not. It means I have to be very extra careful what I type for my physicians, or they might get a dose of phazer fire or something extra in that legal document meant to cover their azz for total patient care and HIPAA. I want to write more than I want to work, and this sudden stop by an idea is just meaning I can't function, and work dragged on and on and on. I drank an entire pitcher of tea in my quest to cut down on the Diet Coke. There's one last one in the fridge, and it will wait until after I get up later on today.

I made my goal, though, and started the surgical center.

Then, the real work began.

Junior up at 6. No pants, says he. I say, yes pants, and hop up to find him plenty. In the process, though, I realize Sunny has none. Now, Sunny has the benefit of two aunts her size and about five second cousins her size, and they all toss their clothes in our direction. No complaints here, other than I always know how many clothes Sunny has to choose from...and they're all dirty, because she saved up and put them in a densely packed hamper in her room. I found one pair of pants, but they needed a button. Not only that, I had a crockpot soaking from where the rice stuck to it, and I needed that washed. We had an ice storm and I was a little afraid to take the 100-pound dog out, who danced and pranced in the kitchen. And I had work to do, still.

Dude got up fairly easily, but he just wouldn't get moving. I found that out after I typed a few procedure notes. I found all his jeans while looking for Sunny's and put them in a neat pile on his shelf. Of course, he could't find them, nor could he find the underwear and shirt I put next to it. Somehow, he never asked for socks. I realize now that he probably just wore the same ones from yesterday. Yuck. Great. He yelled from the bathroom that the zipper on the new pair is broken. I didn't hear him frm the other side of the house, where I was stuck in the middle of a history and physical section, and he got mad and screamed louder. I tossed the pants through the door and asked Junior to get the pot washed.

Ah, work finished. Tally, fax the one for today, and send via e-mail.

I stabbed my finger with the needle while I reattached the button. By the time Sunny got downstairs (which I had to run up and wake her because Junior just doesn't do it right), she had jeans. Dude still wasn't out the door, and I was digging for change so Junior can get a soda at school. I found him two nickles. I don't know if he found anything else.

Meanwhile, Dude finally left the house, disobeying me by going out the front door onto the concrete porch and uneven steps that are slicker than snot from the ice storm. I hope he made it to the bus stop in one piece. Junior claimed he couldn't get the yuck off the pot, so I told him to scrub harder. In the midst of all this, I made tea. One final shot of fluids to get me through.

Sunny? Her wrist hurt too bad last night to fill in the single-letter answers! Gah! I proved to her that she had other pants washing as she picked out clothes (she has lots of tops clean), and she tried to lecture me about how I need to be more responsible! Like, you know, she told me yesterday she didn't have any pants. Growl. I sewed a button on, babe, and you'll like it.

Junior got the pot cleaned. I dumped in the black beans that soaked all night long, battled through the kitchen to find my chili powder, cumin, and curry. I threw the hamburger in, added some more water, decided there weren't enough beans, so now there's rice added, too. Oh, and Velveeta. I don't know why. It was there, I guess.

Junior left; Sunny and I were alone. At that moment, I decided I need a drink. I went to the desk...where the hell is my tea? I'm thirsty, dammit. Somewhere in there I snuck the dog outside and brought him back in, too. All I want is my tea!

I checked the kitchen, because I know I took the last of the tea and made some more after rinsing out the crock, using the still-running hot water to fill the pitcher. It's not in the kitchen. I know I was in the laundry room a lot this morning; logically, I checked there, next. Nope. I tied Sunny's peasant top for her (wrist, you know), and went back on the quest. I'm thirsty. I need to kick the Diet Coke habit. I have one left, but I need it for when I wake up. Therefore, I must have my tea.

I found it next to a defunct computer, and I just realized why it was there. I put the needle away after I sewed on the button, and must've just put it there then.

The last cigarette burns in the ashtray. I'm tired. I've done nothing but push it all night, but we'll have some kind of funky chili concoction for when I wake up...I hope. I've never made chili in the crockpot before.

Miracle of miracles, my family's in town. We're having Christmas tomorrow, because it's the only time all five kids + spouses + kids will be available for coexistence for the year. It's a pisser, because it's in the middle of my Christmas-building budget, because we just paid real estate taxes. I'll have to send the gifts later, which is okay, but it will be kind of embarrassing explaining why I'm almost empty-handed on Christmas. At least the baby won't know the difference, and my nephew will know we gave him something and promise him more later.

It's 8:58 a.m. I'll be up at 1, with luck. I'll drink my soda and gear up for getting food in the house (payday--yay!) and try to talk Stud into driving me around for the rest of the evening. I've never laid eyes on my niece, and I haven't seen my grandfather in so long it hurts. Junior's banking on going to the movies with his friends. I think I'll let Stud handle that and disappoint him. I'm tired.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Bad excerpt or good tease...toss it up

One of Captain Udnak’s husbands came into the kitchen with Umchai just as Voleta and Jake cleaned up their mess. It took a while; canisters of all kinds lined the countertops from Voleta’s sudden interest in Xalaxian cuisine, some of it tasty and some not.

Umchai wrapped his arms around her leg. "Udnak looks for you."

"Okay. We’ll head right up to the bridge."

"No, not necessary." Umchai twittered. "She call Jake’s ship. You not answer. She sent me to find you. I knew without coming in what you do." He patted her leg fondly. "She thinks you are funny."

"Why?" Voleta asked.

"You got here to eat first," Umchai said, his voice rising to squeaking with merriment. "She tells me to tell you that she hoped you left something for her."

"Oh." Voleta stifled a feminine belch. "Um, I’m not sure about that, but there is quite a bit left from dinner."

Jake conversed with Udnak’s husband, who relayed the situation with a broad grin.

"Captain?" Jake asked warily, wearing a crooked smile.

"Yes?"

"Well, it appears that Captain Udnak thinks she has time for some food and, well, a break." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "This husband wants to know if you need the same courtesy."

Voleta bit her lip and her eyes grew very round. "Who’s volunteering to help me with my ‘break?’"

"About twenty different men have offered."

"Akindahe." Voleta tried to hide her repugnant sneer. "Akindahe, Jake, and we need to go."
She grabbed Jake by the hand and dragged him back toward the Maiden.

Umchai followed behind, clearly bristling with chirps and whistles of amusement. "The Ice?"

"What?" she asked, letting go of Jake once completely away from the airlock.

"You make things worse, for you."

"How so?"

Jake’s skin darkened and he looked at the floor. "Well, you just pretty much threw me over your shoulder and..."

"Aw, hell." Voleta jumped into the recliner, her legs already crossed at the ankles when she landed. "You just can’t take me anywhere." She covered her face with her hands, but her stomach wiggled and a laugh escaped. "Jake?"

"Yes?"

"Akindahe."

"It’s all right. I wasn’t expecting anything," he assured her, patting her shin. "I’m going to check sensors."

"I’m going to call over to the Wakowk and make sure that they know that we are not doing anything." Voleta hopped up and followed him to the bridge.

"You don’t even speak Xalaxian," Jake said, still grinning.

"I will in a minute. How do you say, ‘So, how are things with you?’"

#

Voleta calmly looked at their current velocity, coming closer and closer to leaving subwarp. She belched again and excused herself.

"What was that spicy stuff? The red and green things?"

"Yaganti."

"Okay. That’s a word I definitely need to learn." She patted her chest and another soft burp escaped. "Yikes."

"I have some antacid in the galley. I’ll get it for you."

"Just two tablets, please," Voleta requested.

"Captain, they’re Xalaxian antacids. You inhale them." Jake disappeared aft.

"Ick." She eyed the slim tube when Jake returned, envisioning its usage.

"You do it this way--"

"Let me figure it out," she insisted, holding the tube out in her palm. She tested the ends, and found the caps, removing them. Still confused, she tapped the open end on her palm. When nothing came out, she lifted it up to her eye to look inside. "Why are there two ends?"

"One for you and one for your administrator."

"Administrator?"

"You insert and inhale while someone blows through the other end."

Voleta rolled her eyes and massaged the bridge of her nose. "Who does this for you?"

"Well, I kind of have to suffer through it unless Umchai is with me."

"Ick." She covered her mouth as not to offend the Midrian, but found Umchai returned to the Wakowk. "Ick ick ick ewwww."

"Relax. That’s never been used."

"I think I’ve just been cured."

Jake took the tube back and replaced the caps, but left it on the console. "Just in case."

Voleta checked sensors and closed her eyes in thought. "We’re getting very close to being jammed. Get Jamie on the waves."

"Yes, Ma’am. Captain Zenith requesting to speak to Commander Jamison, please."
"He will be with you shortly."

"Ice?" Jamison called after a few moments.

"Hey. I’ve got about fifteen minutes..." she burped again, loudly this time, holding her chest. "Shit. Jamie, give me just a second. I’ve got heartburn like you wouldn’t believe. Yaganti, Jamie. That’s a food that I have to stay away from."

His snicker filtered through in crystal clarity.

Voleta stuck her hand out and wiggled her fingers toward her palm. "Jamie, you never heard any of this conversation."

"What conversation?" Jamison asked.

"Okay, Jake, blow me."

Jamison guffawed while Jake removed the caps from the tube. Leaning across the console, Voleta wrapped her lips around the device.

"Captain, when I blow, you inhale," Jake directed, his brow creases deepening with Jamison’s increasing laughter. "One, two, three." Jake puffed into the end and Voleta caught it with an inhale.

"Yuck." She sniffed and hacked. "God, that smells like dead roses. I’m going to kick squiddy butt smelling a funeral home in my nostrils."

"Ice?"

"Yeah?"

"If I were a fly..."

"It’s a heartburn remedy, requiring inhalation, but someone has to push the inhaling stuff at you."

"So he blew and you sucked?"

"No. He breathed out and I inhaled, Jamie. Get your mind out of the waste receptacles."

"Are you better?" Jake asked.

"I sure hope so!" Jamison interjected.

Voleta beat her chest, driving the remaining gas bubble into the air. "Yeah. That stuff’s pretty good." Her left shoulder rose toward her ear. "It still smells like dead flowers, though."

"Ice, I feel as if I am intruding on a very intimate moment," Jamison jibed.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just wanted to check in with you before we get jammed. Everything going like I want it to?"

"Apparently so," Jamison replied quickly, snickering.

"Jamie?" she growled.

"Oh, that’s my cue to behave," he rejoined. "Everyone’s up and running. Mr. Lennox hovered all over the station looking for pilots, insured them and gave them a big bonus. We are stashed, stashed, stashed with weapons, and, yes, gun control just performed their eight-hour checks."

"Hey. Life is good. If I get one of those ships to you, I want you to keep it intact after boarding. We need a training facility."

"Aye, Captain. Your thoughts are my thoughts."

Voleta sobered. "Jamie?"

"Yeah, Ice?"

She paused. "You know."

"Yeah, I know. Same ‘I know’ to you."

"Thanks. Take care of my station. If it’s got a big hole in it when I get back, you’re fixing it without a spacesuit."

"Yes, Ma’am. I’m going to contact Maple and see how it’s going. If you do not hear from me, it’s all go."

"Okay. Take care."

"You, too. Jake?"

"Sir?"

"I hope you don’t get vertigo easily," Jamison warned him. "Station out."

"I wonder if the cure for that comes in a tube," Voleta said.

"No, it comes in a mouth spray." Jake noted the minutes remaining on subwarp emergence.

"May I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"What is this ‘you know’ thing?"

"Oh. It’s just a short form for I’ve updated my last will and testament and he and Mira split everything I have, except for one choice item that Maple may take without any objection from either of them. It also means that his will is in order with about the same guidelines." She swallowed. "It’s a really dorky way of expressing an emotion for a brother, I guess."

"What do you think Maple would collect?"

Voleta thought, twisting her hair around her index finger. "Probably the Queen itself."

"And Commander Jamison would let it go so easily?"

"Yeah. I think he would. We all came into our own on that vessel. Plus, Maple always fussed that I got the stateroom and he and everyone else got bunks. Maple’s kinda buff. He’s hard to shove in a berth." She snickered. "He won’t have it today, though."

"Captain, we are out of subwarp in five Earth minutes."

"Good." She checked the time and then the sensors. "Do Incendos hate Xalaxians so much that they would chase them this far to wipe them out?"

"Yes. Yes, they would."

"Is there any way they know it is an ambassador’s transport?"

"There is a possibility, yes. Our message systems have been subjugated to Incendos many times. Earth is too far out and they haven’t broken your encryption codes yet, but they seem to get what they need to know from us."

Voleta swallowed. "They may know about the station," she realized.

"Didn’t my grandmother explain?"

Voleta shook her head.

"The Xalaxian government has high hopes for this station. There is no discussion across airways. That is why Madame Ambassador comes to you."

"Oh. I appreciate their foresight."

"Well, I expect your grandmother had something to do with that. Have you thought of initiating contact with her?"

"No. I’m just not ready." Cautiously, she gauged Jake, whose hands again trembled. She reached for his hand, put his nodes to hers, and covered the union with her other hand. "Take deep breaths. I want you to listen to me. Are you familiar with battle protocols?"

"Not as much as I would like to be."

"Take another deep breath and feel my experience." Voleta smiled as Jake closed his eyes and his breaths evened out. "There is only going to be one scary moment in this. We have to stop to detach. There is always a chance that they will come out of subwarp simultaneously with guns blazing. If it were just this ship, as quick as she is, it wouldn't be a problem, but the Wakowk is about the right speed. You see, the Incendos have the ability to transition out of subwarp faster than our vessels can, and it might work out that way. I trust the maneuverability of your vessel, and we will have to put ourselves between the Wakowk and the Incendo battle cruisers while the Wakowk jumps back into subwarp. Can you see this?"

Jake nodded. Voleta felt his pulse quicken and she took another minute before she spoke. "I want to see what this little lady of yours can do." She glimpsed over at the sensors and shook her head. "I want the airlock closed and the clamps partly released before we come out. As soon as we are detached, the Wakowk will pull straight away and enter subwarp and you and I will whip around to ensure that they make it."

"I understand."

"Okay. You have to relay this to Captain Udnak immediately because, as I see it, we have about five minutes of clear airwaves."

"Yes. Yes." Jake tentatively pulled his hand out of hers, switched to Xalaxian and contacted Udnak.

"What's going on?" Karen asked.

Jake swallowed. "Grandmother? Where's Captain Udnak?"

"Here. I'm interpreting for her."

"Close the airlock from the Wakowk side. It’s time to detach us," Jake informed her.

"Standby." Karen spoke to Udnak in Xalaxian. While they discussed on the next ship over, Jake rerouted the ancillary controls to his half of the console.

Udnak’s voice came across and Jake responded to the Wakowk’s captain as Voleta listened impatiently.

"Shit!" Voleta exclaimed. "Shit, we gotta do this and do it quick! They’ve matched us!"

"Simultaneous subwarp emergence?" Jake inquired.

"Yeah, buddy. This should be interesting. No change. Tell Udnak what’s going down and that she has to split!"

Udnak spoke a few words, and Jake replied.

"We are clear to pull away," he relayed.

"Detach!" Voleta ordered, her eyes never leaving the sensors. "You've just given me flight
controls, right?"

"You want anything else?"

"I probably won't have time." She took a deep breath and blew it through pursed lips.
"Ambassador, I'm going to piss off a few warships, keeping them away from you."

"You've never done this, have you?" Jake asked.

"Not with five ships. Most certainly not with you and me." Her hands trembled a bit as the Metal Maiden, now detached, barreled toward the Incendos as they flashed out of subwarp.

"We can outrun them," Jake reminded her.

"Not until we have them interested in us. We have to give the Wakowk a chance to get to the station first." She throttled the ship in a starboard semicircle, facing the soon-to-be oncoming Incendos vessels.

"My grandson," Karen protested.

"If he dies, I'll be with him," she swore.