She did good

My Girl

I know I write a lot about her, my sunny she-bear, but she has the sense that counters the part of me she has in such abundance. She writes. We dream about going down to a funky store and looking at all the weapon replicas. She loves finger weapons and face tattoos and dragons. I buy her cheap little things that nobody else understands why...but we do. They're muse objects. They have no other purpose than to stimulate imagination.

It hurts to watch her have pain. She's had "abdominal migraines" now for over two years, waxing and waning in severity. I understand what she's going through; a long time of undiagnosed hypothyroidism in my teens led to several years of incapacitating headaches, taking away so much of my life, like these pains take away hers. All along, I'd asked her to characterize the pains, but she was 10 when they started, and my questions tend to not make sense, even in layman's terms. It clicked the other day, and she got on the 'net and researched gallbladder symptoms. Those match better than anything she's ever looked up.

I called the doctor, and told him what she thought.

He said, "Are you going to let a child make a diagnosis?"

I said, "No, it's not a diagnosis, and we've been dealing with these things since the end of the 5th grade. She's been to a neurologist, but she's never had a KUB or gallbladder ultrasound, for that matter. She thinks her symptoms most correlate to gallbladder disease. She needs to know. We need to image the abdomen."

"Fine, fine, fine, you come in, but I cannot order these tests based on a child's supposition."

"It's not a supposition, and she knows it might not be that, but this is the best match to her symptoms she can find. I understand you can't let her dictate her care," I said, and I do, but it made me mad. I wanted to change doctors before the next run of bad pains came on; I wasn't successful, and I feel awful about it. I just knew we were going to do battle over a simple, stupid x-ray. I remember the same gut-wrenching feeling in an emergency room last year, where all they did was take a urine sample. It just seems that no one but the neurologist took the child seriously, and with no EEG findings, she needed to be referred back to the pediatrician.

I took her in. The doctor greeted us, pleasantly. He's friendly most of the time, but he doesn't like to look like an idiot. He knows all; people beg him to help their kids get well; therefore, he thinks he's God. It's common among physicians. Ask one. He or she will tell you.

I wanted him to hear her. I wanted him to see the look of desperation on her face. I wanted him to hear the research she's done, trying to find the fix for whatever's wrong. She looked at me, and I said, "Tell him everything you told me."

"I think my pains are closer to gallbladder problems than anything else I've looked at, including the abdominal migraine stuff," she said. "I don't think it has any relationship to eating, but the doctor's site said that sometimes the pains can be random and not related to eating. I keep checking and this is the closest. It's been since 5th grade. I'm in 8th. I want something done...please."

She's polite.

He looked impressed, almost as much as I was. In just a few words, she demonstrated her research and used terms that definitely proved she understood quite a bit about her body and the way things work. He invited her up onto the table, thumped around on her abdomen, and, at McBurney's point, he tapped twice, just to make sure her "ow" was an "ow."

Blood work and a CT scan of the abdomen with contrast, we obtained. My little lady did in three minutes what I've been trying to do for years. I won't be speaking for her again. She does well enough on her own.

The test was done today, and I won't know the results. We talked about it. It's sad, but we hope something shows up on CT scan so that we'll finally know definitively and have something to fix. If not, we know what it's not and keep searching, but it's clear to me that my girl, my sweetie, is determined to feel better. She's tired, and she's fighting. All I need to do is drive her around.
I guess my point to this is that it's just amazing to see your kids grow in front of your eyes. She's always been shy, but it's thrilling to know she overcame that. She's let me do the talking for years. She refused to do the talking for years. Now, though, it's time to git 'er done, and she knows it's up to her a lot more than it is to me, and that makes me proud. I'll keep fighting battles for her, but only if I need to. I think she's discovered her voice and intelligence are just fine.

I did want to add: I am in the ideal job position for me. I am doing what I like, being the go-to gal! This is exciting to me. I can cover for just about any specialty, now, and these are the specialties I've typed for them so far:

1. Plastic and Hand
2. Radiology/CT/MRI
3. General surgery
4. Colorectal surgery
5. Rheumatology
6. Internal medicine
7. Oncology
8. Neurology
9. Gastroenterology
10. Orthopedic surgery
11. ENT
12. Geriatrics

I don't get bored this way. I explained to my boss that I hoped she didn't want me sticking to just one or two accounts, and apparently, this is a rare thing for someone to want. I just want to know a little bit about everything, y'know?

Blessings and good tidings. A prayer for my Sunny would be very, very welcome.