What long-time married women wish men understood.

Guys, you really gotta understand something.

Generally speaking, you fellas are guaranteed satisfaction for your effort. We girls, however, don’t always have the same guarantee. I know, I know; we have so many buttons to press, it’s not fair.

Tonight, though, and I wish you men would all understand, I got more out of sex than I had in a long time. Why? Because I was paid attention to. I did more than just take off my slippers. After 10 minutes of play, the actual act was just gravy. I was completely satisfied before he was, and the only things necessary were touch and taste, all above the waist.

Guys, sex isn’t all physical with us. We’re emotional people, and feeling loved is a big part of the deal. I’ll keep tonight over more explosive nights, thank you very much.

Other than this, I’m in a rut. My mind is full of TV shows, which, for some reason, crushes my creative drive for my own stuff. Does this happen to anyone else? I spend too much time trying to fix the writing of the show on TV that my own gets neglected. I’m already at 20K with the new book, though, and how the hell am I supposed to get it under 100K? It’s never going to happen.

So that takes me back to the pathetic book for which I still haven’t written the synopsis. Okay, it’s not pathetic, but the main character has to play mind games and doesn’t shoot anyone. I prefer a direct approach for my chicks.

P.S. I still don’t know how long it takes to cremate a 450-pound body. Aren’t you proud?